People attend therapy for all sorts of reasons. From going through a difficult breakup to losing a loved one or facing a life-limiting diagnosis, someone seeking help from a trained therapist could have any number of issues they’d like to resolve. In fact, it’s probably more common for people to go to therapy than you think. In 2022, 55.8 million U.S. adults received mental health treatment.
Some people have this preconceived notion that soon after they start therapy, they’ll see major changes in how they feel and act. Sure, some people do make quick strides, but sometimes, signs of progress are more subdued. Or, in other cases, there might be no progress at all.
You might have made quick progress in the earlier stages only to feel like, after a few weeks or months, nothing is changing anymore. In this case, you may have stalled out in your progress. This can be frustrating, but it’s also something that can be overcome.
Recognizing Signs of Stalled Progress in Therapy
Therapy can stall for any number of reasons, often leaving clients feeling like they’re not making progress, or worse, like they’re wasting their time attending. While the point of therapy is to develop and grow your skills to a point where you no longer need treatment, stalled progress isn’t the same.
The therapeutic process typically requires you to engage in behaviors outside of the office. You might work on skills such as assertiveness in therapy, but unless you take the feedback and tools given to you and put them to work in your daily life, you probably won’t see much change in the situation that brought you to therapy in the first place.
You might spend more time in therapy reporting on how your time since your last appointment has gone without discussing any relevant topics or making therapeutic progress. Stories and details about what you’ve done can be fine for therapy, but when your entire session becomes a rundown of your week, without looking for insight or trying to unpack the whys and hows of what you did, you aren’t likely to get much out of it.
If you feel like therapy is wasting your time or you aren’t getting anything out of it, you may have stalled. Fortunately, it’s possible to un-stall your therapeutic process and re-engage in your therapy in an effective, results-driven manner.
Common Reasons for Therapy Plateaus
Therapy can plateau and stall for any number of reasons, including:
- You’re focused on the same topic or material, but not developing any insight or depth. You might find yourself venting and repeating yourself without actually delving into the topic. In some cases, you may be beating a dead horse in therapy and there’s nothing more to explore. However, you might be focusing too much on the surface-level hurt to see the underlying wound festering. You may need to reopen that wound you’ve been avoiding out of fear or discomfort. Take a deep breath and let your therapist guide you through it. It’s okay to be uncomfortable when dealing with uncomfortable topics. Just remember, your therapist is there to make a safe space for you to explore your issues.
- You claim you want things to change, but don’t change your behavior and continue making the same choices that contribute to the problem you sought therapy for. For example, maybe you want a better marriage, but rather than taking any actionable steps toward improving communication, you continue with the status quo. In this case, it’s time to start taking action to see progress.
- You ignore how you contribute to your problem while pushing the blame on other people’s behavior in therapy. For example, you might tell your therapist that you’re struggling to maintain a respectful relationship with an overbearing parent, but you fail to set or enforce boundaries. To begin progressing again, you may need to work on accountability. There’s always something you can do to change your situation, whether it’s walking away from a toxic relationship, enforcing boundaries, or changing the way you interact with people.
Communication Tips With Your Therapist
The interactions you have with your therapist can change how effective the treatment is. Without proper communication, you won’t get the most out of the treatment, or could even find that your progress stalls out. Try implementing these tips to create an open, engaging, and productive dialogue:
- Ask clarifying questions when you aren’t quite sure what your therapist says or you need further guidance. This helps you get the information you need and lets your therapist know how to better help you as they learn how to interact with you and gain a more thorough understanding of your needs.
- Try journaling before your session so you know which topics are currently weighing on you and which ones you’re ready to bring up.
- Be open and honest about your thoughts and feelings. Your therapist only has what you tell them to work off of to help you. Don’t worry about being embarrassed. Your therapist isn’t there to judge you. Your therapist is bound by confidentiality laws unless you express an intent to hurt yourself or others, so you shouldn’t fear your private thoughts and feelings being shared.
- Listen actively, even when you’re feeling uncomfortable. This can be a hard one, but remember, your therapist’s primary goal is to help you. They may guide you through untangling difficult topics or feelings, but ultimately, they have your best interest at heart. Sometimes, the healing process hurts. Think of it this way: Surgery is invasive and painful, but ultimately helps the body heal correctly. The same can go for therapy too.
Exploring New Therapy Approaches
Psychotherapy approaches usually fall into one of five categories. However, they’re not always effective for everyone. Sometimes, a therapist may decide to pivot to a new approach to better help you as they grow to understand you, your underlying concerns and issues, and what works for you.
The five approaches are:
- Psychoanalysis and Psychodynamic Therapies: Therapists use this approach to help people change their problematic thoughts, feelings, and actions by finding the underlying unconscious motivations and meanings.
- Behavior Therapy: This approach to therapy focuses on how people develop behaviors. Cognitive-behavioral therapy, for example, is widely used to help people develop healthier thoughts and behaviors.
- Cognitive Therapy: Cognitive therapy focuses on how people think. Under this approach, dysfunctional thinking causes dysfunctional feelings and behaviors. By emphasizing healthier thoughts, healthier behaviors and feelings emerge.
- Humanistic Therapy: Therapists using this approach emphasize that people have the ability to make rational choices.
- Integrative or Holistic Therapy: An integrative or holistic approach blends elements from several approaches, medicine, and alternative treatment methods to tailor a course of action to the client’s needs.
Integrating Self-Care and Support Systems
Your therapeutic process isn’t self-contained to a single room with your therapist. Rather, it includes making healthy, actionable changes to your life and seeking out healthy, supportive relationships.
In some cases, you might think your progress in therapy has stalled because the process isn’t working. However, you may be lacking self-care and support. These are critical for everyone, whether they’re in therapy or not. You aren’t going to feel less anxious if you’re not getting enough sleep or you don’t take time for yourself.
A support system can have a two-pronged effect on this. First, people who make up your support system can take some of the load off your shoulders so you can take care of yourself too. They can also be someone who validates and listens to you when you feel like you’re struggling or therapy has stalled. They can remind you how far you’ve come and cheer you on to keep trying to find a plan that works for you.
Setting Realistic Expectations and Goals
You might feel like your therapy has stalled if you’ve set unrealistic expectations or goals for what you’d like to get out of the experience. For example, if you’re seeking help for anxiety, you might have the idea that after a few sessions, you’ll be free from those panicky feelings. When that doesn’t happen, you might feel like therapy isn’t working or isn’t worth the effort.
Truthfully, therapy often takes much longer than that. You might start to see results, but changing your ingrained thoughts, feelings, and behaviors takes time.
Alternatively, you might have a goal that seems simple and achievable, such as being happy again. However, that requires identifying why you’re unhappy in the first place. That alone can take time to uncover. Be realistic with your expectations so you don’t feel like you’re not making progress.
Creating actionable goals and realistic expectations can help guide your therapeutic journey.
Seeking Second Opinions or Consultations
Sometimes, a therapist just isn’t the right match for you and you might find that you need a new one. There’s nothing wrong with seeking second opinions or consultations. In fact, it’s important to seek out options if you’ve identified a reason your current therapist isn’t working for you.
Stalling Therapy Progress Isn’t the End of the Road
Even if you’re not making progress in therapy currently, you can always jump-start it. Whether that means changing your actions, approach, or even finding a new therapist who works better for you, there are ways you can continue striving toward becoming your happiest, healthiest self.
If you’re not sure where to go from here, we’re ready to help. Our team of compassionate counselors can support you in developing actionable plans so you can get the most out of your therapeutic process. Reach out at any time when you need support.
