Everyone lies sometimes. These little white lies or distortions aren’t usually problematic — though they could still erode trust. Major or frequent lies, on the other hand, can be a big problem for one’s social, professional, and romantic life.
Some people lie frequently, even when there’s no real reason to. In fact, research on lying behaviors and their frequency revealed that of 1,000 participants in one study, 59.9% claimed they hadn’t lied in 24 hours. However, half of the total 1,646 lies reported were from just 5.3% of the participants.
People who regularly engage in lying might lie about their plans, their relationships, or their actions, even when there’s no risk of trouble in telling the truth. In some cases, this lying can become pathological, and that can be a symptom of a larger mental health problem.
What Is Pathological Lying?
Pathological lying happens when someone feels a compulsion to lie. Sometimes called “mythomania” or “pseudologia fantastic,” this pattern of behavior can be problematic. Some people do it to make themselves look better. Sometimes, the lie is done without any clear motivation.
In some cases, the behavior may be caused due to biological influences. One study on pathological liars revealed that they had an increase in white matter in the prefrontal cortex, which may predispose someone to lie pathologically.
How Pathological Lying Affects Relationships
Maintaining a relationship of any kind with a pathological liar can be incredibly trying. You might feel like you have to second-guess everything they say, even about innocuous topics. Pathological lying causes several issues in relationships, including:
- A Lack of Trust: It’s hard to take someone’s word at face value when they repeatedly lie. The more a pathological liar lies to friends, family, and romantic partners, the more likely they are to destroy that trust. Without trust, it’s not possible to maintain a healthy relationship.
- Gaslighting and Emotional Abuse: Pathological liars can sometimes cross into emotional abuse territory. For example, a pathological liar might say they know they bought something at the store when they forgot, leaving their partner questioning themselves. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which the liar’s untruths make the victim question their sense of perception and self-worth. People in relationships with pathological liars who use gaslighting to cover up their tracks may start to question themselves and their sanity.
- Diminished Intimacy: All kinds of relationships rely on intimacy to form a connection. It’s a form of emotional vulnerability that normally fosters a foundation of trust. Without honesty in the relationship, that emotional connection doesn’t exist.
- Reduced Compassion and Empathy: Liars tend to hide their true emotions. They might write something off as not a big deal. Repeated exposure to this behavior can lead to feelings of resentment that reduce the compassion and empathy others feel toward the pathological liar.
- A Breakdown of the Relationship: It only takes one serious lie to destroy a relationship. However, repeated lies lead to feelings of frustration, hurt, confusion, and even anger.
Is There a Link Between Mental Health Disorders and Pathological Lying?
There’s no such thing as a specific compulsive liar disorder. However, compulsive lying can be the symptom or result of an underlying mental health disorder. With that said, lying isn’t automatically a sign of a disorder. If you know someone who lies pathologically, you can’t diagnose them yourself. They would need to speak to a mental health professional.
Some mental illnesses associated with lying include:
- Anxiety Disorders: While pathological lying isn’t a defining feature of anxiety, there is some degree of overlap based on how someone’s anxiety presents itself. Someone with an anxiety disorder might lie because they’re afraid of being rejected or they are trying to avoid potential triggers. It could be a maladaptive form of self-preservation for them.
- Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD): OCD is characterized by having obsessions and compulsions to perform a behavior. Paired with other symptoms like intrusive thoughts or feelings, someone might lie compulsively. Pathological lying might also arise as an attempt to cover up the manifestation of other OCD symptoms.
- Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD): NPD has several diagnostic criteria that lend themselves to pathological lying. One is an exaggerated sense of self-importance and arrogance. This can lead to all sorts of lies to protect the person’s image. Beyond that, people with NPD usually lack a sense of empathy for other people. They don’t always have the same reservations about manipulating others to their own benefit. Lying becomes a way for some people with NPD to feel better about themselves or superior to others.
- Antisocial Personality Disorder: People with antisocial personality disorder tend to interact with other people differently. They often don’t feel remorse or empathy and may manipulate others to their advantage. These can all lead to a higher likelihood of lying frequently.
Other Non-Disorder Reasons for Pathological Lying
While mental illness and lying can often be linked, there are other reasons why a person might lie compulsively, including:
- Social status: Lying may be used to maintain a reputation of social value. In certain communities, such as country clubs or prestigious social organizations, a good reputation may be linked with financial status. Without it, a person may be seen as inferior. An individual lying about their profession or lifestyle may be a way to fit in with the community.
- Insecurity: Those who are insecure about who they are may use lying as a defense mechanism. It can be used to inflate their own sense of self-worth or importance and prevent social exclusion or ridicule among peers.
- Substance abuse: People with a drug or alcohol addiction may lie to cover up the extent of their substance use rather than for sympathy or attention. For example, if an individual asks friends or family to borrow money, they may claim it’s for bills rather than drugs or alcohol.
- Humor: Some people may lie often simply because they find it amusing. Though less common than other reasons, people may assume no one actually believes their lies because of how far-fetched they are or may not realize the frustration they’re causing others.
Other Reasons for Pathological Lying
People without underlying mental health disorders might lie pathologically for other reasons. These can include:
- Social Status: Someone might lie to obtain a higher social status. For example, someone might feel pressure to present themselves as more successful or financially secure than they actually are to preserve a reputation. They might feel they’ll be seen as inferior if people knew the truth about them and may choose to lie about their lifestyle or profession to fit in with their desired crowd.
- Insecurity: Lying can be a way for people who are insecure to defend themselves. They might try to boost their sense of importance or self-worth by pretending they also fit in.
- Substance Abuse or Addiction: People with addictions to substances like alcohol or other drugs might lie to cover up how much they use. It’s not uncommon for people with addictions to lie when they need money to cover their substance use. They may say they need help paying a bill and take the money to pay for their addiction. The same could occur to someone with a gambling or shopping addiction.
- Humor: Sometimes people lie because they find it entertaining. They may assume that other people don’t actually believe them because of how ridiculous or far-fetched their stories sound, and they may not realize that they’re actually causing significant frustration or damage to their relationships.
Does Pathological Lying Require Treatment?
It’s often difficult to treat pathological lying because there’s no such thing as a diagnosis for it. However, if it’s a symptom of another mental health disorder, treating the underlying disorder can sometimes help reduce or eliminate pathological lying. Unfortunately, for pathological liars who have been stretching or avoiding the truth for years or decades, it can be very hard to stop. It often becomes automatic and habitual. Sometimes, psychotherapy can help someone with a pathological lying problem change their behavior.
Treatment Options for Pathological Lying
Even if someone is open to treatment for pathological lying, it can be difficult to eliminate. This is especially the case if the individual lies to their care team. However, some forms of treatment can be helpful, including:
- Psychotherapy: Psychotherapy is the best option for treating pathological lying. Cognitive behavioral therapy can be particularly beneficial, helping patients identify the thought patterns that trigger or contribute to their lying (like a desire for attention). As they become more aware of the behavior, they can develop more productive, healthier behaviors with time. However, this requires the pathological liar to both want the treatment and be honest with their therapist while receiving care.
- Medication or Treatment for Underlying Mental Health Disorders: Sometimes, treating any existing underlying mental health disorders can help alleviate pathological lying behaviors. For example, if someone is lying due to anxiety, treating their anxiety may help alleviate the distress they feel that triggers them to lie.
Ultimately, if a pathological liar knows that they have a problem with lying and they want to change their behaviors, there are options available to them. As long as they remain compliant with the treatment plan or their therapist’s instructions, they always have a chance to reduce or eliminate unwanted lying. A therapist and/or psychiatrist will work with an individual to develop a treatment plan for their specific diagnosis to help control pathological lying. For example, a person being treated for anxiety may be prescribed a combination of psychotherapy, medication and mindfulness to reduce symptoms.
You Don’t Have to Face Pathological Lying Alone
Pathological lying, even when the lies are seemingly harmless, can be indicative of a larger problem. Even seemingly harmless lies can erode trust in relationships over time. If you or a loved one is struggling with pathological lying that’s negatively affecting your life, help is available. To start the healing journey, reach out anytime to Restore Mental Health.
