Compulsive lying disorder can erode trust and damage personal relationships. Learn more about pathological lying, including the causes and treatment options.
Everyone lies sometimes. In fact, a 2024 study revealed 75% of respondents told up to two lies each day. These little white lies or distortions aren’t usually problematic, but they can still erode trust. Major or frequent lies, on the other hand, can be a big problem in someone’s social, professional and romantic life. In fact, pathological lying is often a sign of deeper issues that need immediate treatment at a facility like Restore Mental Health before they cause significant damage.
What’s Pathological Lying?
Pathological lying happens when someone feels a compulsion to lie. Sometimes called mythomania or pseudologia fantastica, this pattern of behavior can be problematic. Some people do it to make themselves look better. At other times, the lie is committed without any clear motivation.
How Pathological Lying Affects Relationships
Maintaining a relationship of any kind with a pathological liar can be incredibly trying. You might feel you have to second-guess everything they say, even about innocuous topics. Pathological lying causes several issues in relationships:
- A lack of trust. It’s hard to take someone’s word at face value when they repeatedly lie. The more a pathological liar lies to friends, family and romantic partners, the more likely they are to destroy trust. Without trust, it’s not possible to maintain a healthy relationship.
- Gaslighting and emotional abuse. Pathological liars can sometimes cross into emotional abuse territory. For example, a pathological liar might say they know they bought something at the store when they forgot, leaving their partner questioning what really happened.
- Diminished intimacy. All kinds of relationships rely on intimacy to form a connection. It’s a form of emotional vulnerability that normally fosters a foundation of trust. Without honesty in the relationship, emotional connection doesn’t exist.
- Reduced compassion and empathy. Liars tend to hide their true emotions. They might write off an incident as not a big deal when it was deeply meaningful to their partner. Repeated exposure to this behavior can lead to feelings of resentment that reduce the compassion and empathy others feel toward the pathological liar.
- A breakdown of the relationship. It only takes one serious lie to destroy a relationship. Repeated lies can lead to feelings of frustration, hurt, confusion and even anger.
What Pathological Lying Can Look Like in Real Life
Someone with a compulsive lying disorder might lie all the time, even when it’s not necessary. For example, if they plan to go to the movies after work, they might tell their coworkers they’re going to the park instead. If they want to provoke a reaction, such as shock, surprise or sympathy, they might tell more unbelievable stories. Their lies could range from “My parents used to beat me when I was a child” to “I survived a deadly plane crash that killed everyone but me and the pilot.”
At first, other people believe them. However, when they start uncovering the truth, they begin to distrust this person and warn others about them. Unfortunately, these individuals tend to move on to new people who don’t know about their history and continue the cycle. Lying provides short-term gains that are difficult for these people to give up.
The Link Between Mental Health Disorders and Pathological Lying
Compulsive lying can be a symptom or result of an underlying mental health disorder, but lying isn’t automatically a sign of a disorder. If you know someone who lies pathologically, you can’t diagnose them yourself. They’d need to speak to a mental health professional.
- Anxiety disorders. Someone might lie compulsively as a form of self-preservation. To avoid judgment or anxiety triggers, they might tell lies about their situation, such as “I just don’t talk to my parents because I have a disorder that makes me shy around authority figures.” Common signs of anxiety include excessive worrying, panic attacks, tremors, nausea, irritability and sleep disturbances.
- Obsessive-compulsive disorder. OCD is characterized by obsessive thoughts and compulsions to perform a behavior. Paired with other symptoms like intrusive thoughts or feelings, someone might lie compulsively to get out of situations, find relief from obsessive thinking or cover up their symptoms. Signs of OCD include black-and-white thinking, highly specific fears, strict routines and repetitive behaviors, such as frequent handwashing.
- Narcissistic personality disorder. NPD has several diagnostic criteria that lend themselves to pathological lying. One is an exaggerated sense of self-importance and arrogance. This can lead to all sorts of lies to protect the person’s image. People with NPD usually lack a sense of empathy for other people. They don’t always have the same reservations about manipulating others to their own benefit. Lying becomes a way for some people with NPD to feel better about themselves or superior to others.
- Antisocial personality disorder. APD makes it harder for people to feel remorse or empathy, leading them to manipulate others to their advantage. This can result in pathological lying and other destructive behaviors. Additional signs include aggression, theft, property damage, excessive risk-taking, drug abuse and irresponsible behavior.
Non-Disorder Reasons for Pathological Lying
While mental illness and lying can often be linked, other reasons a person might lie compulsively include:
- Social status. Lying may be used to maintain a reputation of social value. In certain communities, such as country clubs or prestigious social organizations, a good reputation may be linked with financial status. Without it, a person may be seen as inferior. An individual who lies about their profession or lifestyle may be trying to fit in with the community.
- Insecurity. Those who are insecure about their identity may use lying as a defense mechanism. It can be used to inflate their own sense of self-worth or importance and prevent social exclusion or ridicule among peers.
- Substance abuse. People with a drug or alcohol addiction may lie to cover up the extent of their substance use rather than for sympathy or attention. For example, if an individual asks friends or family to borrow money, they may claim it’s for bills rather than drugs or alcohol.
- Humor. Some people may lie often simply because they find it amusing. Though less common than other reasons, people may assume no one actually believes their lies because of how far-fetched they are or may not realize the frustration they’re causing others.
Does Pathological Lying Require Treatment?
Pathological lying is often difficult to treat because there’s no diagnosis for it. However, if it’s a symptom of another mental health disorder, treating the underlying disorder can sometimes help reduce or eliminate pathological lying. Unfortunately, for pathological liars who have been stretching or avoiding the truth for years or decades, it can be very hard to stop. It often becomes automatic and habitual. Sometimes, psychotherapy can help someone with a pathological lying problem change their behavior.
Treatment Options for Pathological Lying
Even if someone is open to treatment for pathological lying, it can be difficult to eliminate. This is especially the case if the individual lies to their care team. However, some forms of treatment can be helpful, including:
- Psychotherapy. Psychotherapy is often an option for treating pathological lying. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can be particularly beneficial, helping patients identify the thought patterns that trigger or contribute to their lying (like a desire for attention). As they become more aware of their behavior, they can develop more productive and healthier habits over time. However, this requires the person to want the treatment and be honest with their therapist while receiving care.
- Medication or treatment for underlying mental health disorders. Sometimes, treating any existing underlying mental health disorders can help alleviate pathological lying behaviors. For example, if someone is lying due to anxiety, treating their anxiety may help alleviate the distress that triggers them to lie.
Frequently Asked Questions
- What’s Pathological Lying?
Pathological lying is a pattern of behavior characterized by frequent and repetitive lying, often without apparent reason. The lies can damage relationships and make it harder for others to trust the individual. - Why Do People Lie Compulsively?
The cause varies depending on the individual and their medical history. Some people may lie for attention, while others lie to avoid trouble or simply because they enjoy manipulating others. Typically, compulsive lying is a sign of deeper issues. - How Do You Treat Compulsive Lying Disorder?
Many people who lie compulsively respond well to therapy and medication. These techniques may help the individual uncover the root of their disorder.
You Don’t Have to Face Pathological Lying Alone
Pathological lying, even when the lies are seemingly harmless, can be a sign of a larger underlying issue. If you or a loved one is struggling with pathological lying that’s negatively affecting your life, help is available. To start the healing journey, reach out to Restore Mental Health.
