Emotions, day-to-day stresses and raising a family make most romantic relationships difficult to navigate. When you add mental health conditions such as bipolar disorder to the mix, an average partnership can quickly turn into a manic relationship where both partners constantly struggle to find common ground. While bipolar disorder is a common and treatable condition, it comes with additional challenges for couples, as the person living with the condition often acts in ways that hurt and confuse their significant other.
What Is Bipolar Disorder?
Bipolar disorder is a mental health condition, formerly known as manic depression, that causes extreme mood swings. Those with this condition alternate between periods of intense hyperactivity, known as mania and hypomania, and phases of major depression. Around 4.4% of American adults experience bipolar disorder at some point in their lives.
Manic symptoms can include:
- Feeling extremely high, elated, irritable or touchy
- Feeling wired or more active than usual
- Excessive appetite for food, sex, drinking or other pleasurable activities
- Feeling unusually powerful or important
- Racing thoughts and talking fast about many things
- Decreased need for sleep
Depressive symptoms can include:
- Feeling extremely down, sad or anxious
- Trouble concentrating or making decisions
- Lack of interest in most activities
- Talking very slowly and feeling forgetful
- Feeling restless or slowed down
- Feeling hopeless or worthless
- Thoughts of death or suicide
It’s also possible for people with bipolar disorder to have mixed episodes, meaning they experience manic and depressive symptoms simultaneously. Sometimes people also experience less severe manic periods referred to as hypomanic episodes.
Types of Bipolar Disorder
There are three types of bipolar disorder, all involving distinct changes in mood, activity levels and energy. Each type is defined by the severity of symptoms:
- Bipolar I disorder: Manic episodes that last at least 7 days and depressive episodes that last at least 2 weeks. Severe manic symptoms sometimes require immediate hospitalization, depending on the person.
- Bipolar II disorder: A pattern of depressive and hypomanic symptoms less severe than manic episodes in Bipolar I disorder.
- Cyclothymic disorder: Recurrent hypomanic and depressive symptoms that aren’t as intense or persistent as full hypomanic and depressive episodes.
Struggles of a So-Called ‘Manic Relationship’
Symptoms can disrupt day-to-day activities, so it’s understandable how Bipolar 1 or Bipolar 2 and relationships can often lead to heartache. During a manic episode, the partner with the disorder can act in confusing and upsetting ways.
How does a bipolar person act in a relationship? They can be easily irritable and say hurtful things, go on spontaneous spending sprees and start projects they’re unlikely to finish, such as a home renovation. Often, during mania, people engage in high-risk activities such as alcohol and drug use and even promiscuity.
Extreme mood shifts in behavioral patterns can cause confusion and emotional exhaustion. Studies show that some of the most significant negative impacts bipolar disorder has on a couple include:
- Relationship insecurity. People tend to seek safety and stability from their partners. The daily struggle and emotional roller coaster that comes with manic episodes can weaken the bond and lower the chance of long-term commitment.
- Social stigma. During manic episodes, people with bipolar can often act inappropriately and do things they later regret. This can lead to the couple cutting off their social circle and avoiding seeing people out of embarrassment.
- Intimacy struggles. While mania is characterized by hypersexuality, during depressive episodes, the partner with bipolar may show no interest in their partner or their relationship. It’s also worth noting that mania may cause infidelity.
Bipolar disorder is treatable with medication and psychotherapy. However, some patients may discontinue treatment or be sporadic in taking their prescribed drugs as they miss the euphoria accompanying manic episodes. For their romantic partner, however, this can be difficult to understand.
Work
Work performance can also be affected by bipolar disorder. Depressive symptoms, such as disinterest or low energy, and manic symptoms, like poor impulse control, can make it difficult to stay productive and maintain a job. Stress at work may also worsen symptoms, causing your partner to feel overwhelmed. If your partner cannot hold a job, they may not be able to contribute financially, putting more pressure on you to pay the bills.
Parenting
Parenting can be a stressful job without the effects of a mental health condition. Erratic behavior caused by bipolar disorder may be confusing to children and create an unstable household where they won’t always know what to expect. Helping your partner acquire the proper treatment, such as therapy and medication, can produce a more secure home environment to raise children.
Do Bipolar Relationships Always Fail?
While symptoms of bipolar disorder can strain a romantic relationship, they’re not always doomed for failure. People with this condition can experience severe symptoms, and the drastic emotional changes can become tiring. However, with the proper treatment and coping strategies, couples can overcome the difficulties associated with this illness.
Couples that face hardships together can strengthen their bonds and gain a deeper trust in each other. Working together toward a common goal can also increase levels of compassion, empathy and understanding — all pillars of a successful life together, even if one partner has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Obsessive relationships, however, can be harmful. While it’s possible to have a happy life together when one person has bipolar disorder, it’s also important to set clear boundaries and take time apart when needed.
If you find yourself constantly sacrificing and putting your own well-being second to caring for your partner with the disorder, it might be time to let go of the relationship. Or, if you’re in a relationship with a person who uses your mental health diagnosis against you and constantly belittles you for it, they might not be the best partner for you.
How to Make a Relationship With a Bipolar Partner Work
Nurturing a healthy relationship with a partner who has bipolar disorder requires patience, understanding, and open dialogues about issues that may arise. Avoiding discussions about bipolar disorder can lead to either partner misinterpreting verbal and non-verbal behaviors that may frustrate the development of a strong, unambiguous bond with one another.
Long-term bipolar disorder relationships can be self-sustaining if both partners actively foster mutual respect and empathy for each other’s feelings. Proactively approaching potential problems instead of dealing with difficulties after they arise will reduce the potential for escalating conflicts that are more challenging to resolve.
Communicate: Talk honestly with each other about the struggles of having and coping with bipolar disorder. Sharing thoughts and concerns and being transparent with one another can help you work together and plan for how to manage manic and depressed episodes.
Stay Informed: Continuously learning about bipolar disorder makes it easier for two partners to talk about bipolar disorder. Reading about recent research, attending workshops or support groups, and staying informed about new treatments and management strategies empower relationships by removing misconceptions about bipolar disorder.
Establish Stability in the Home: People with bipolar disorder do best in more stable, predictable environments. Ensuring a partner with bipolar disorder knows what to expect each day (for the most part) significantly reduces the risk of triggers that cause anxiety and stress.
Take an Active Role in Your Partner’s Treatment Plan: Attending individual therapy appointments and adhering to medication management guidelines are vital to your partner’s mental health and well-being. Driving them to an appointment and asking if their medications are still working shows that you truly care about them and their happiness.
Seek Couples Therapy: A therapist can help couples dealing with bipolar disorder identify and resolve conflicts sensibly and effectively. In addition, partners attending couples counseling can express their feelings in a more emotionally safe environment. Therapy can further help prevent the development of codependency by ensuring both partners maintain their independence and individuality in the relationship.
Pay Attention to Your Mental Health: Engage in “me time” several times a week by doing activities that you enjoy. While relationships focus primarily on the two people sustaining the relationship, don’t neglect family and friend relationships. Practicing self-care is a core component of establishing boundaries in a relationship. Knowing when to say “no,” respecting personal limits, and having a support system outside the relationship reduces the risk of feeling resentful and burned out.
Having a partner with bipolar disorder presents unique challenges that can be overcome with patience, understanding, and acceptance. Consistently applying these tips to your relationship can help forge a resilient and rewarding bond.
When to Seek Professional Help
Bipolar disorder is a serious mental health condition, and you need to stay in touch with a mental health professional who can manage your treatment and medication. This disorder doesn’t just go away on its own, but it can be managed with the help of medications such as lithium or antidepressants along with talk therapies. Couples counseling may also help you and your partner navigate this condition and learn healthy coping methods to minimize the negative effects on your relationship.
If you think you may have bipolar disorder and it’s been complicating your relationship, don’t delay getting the help you need. At Restore Mental Health in Deerfield Beach, our team of counselors and psychiatrists offers both residential and outpatient treatment options. Call (877) 810-2074 or get in touch with us today and begin your journey to recovery.
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